


Loveless | Yandere Simulator AU (AO3 Ver.)

by lilsceneshoppe



Category: Yandere Simulator (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Murder-Suicide, Other, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2020-06-24 05:58:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19717624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilsceneshoppe/pseuds/lilsceneshoppe
Summary: Ayano Aishi is one of the best students in her class. She has perfect grades, perfect hair, perfect skin. A wealthy father. Good behavior.  And, she's best friends with the class president. Until one faithful day the class president starts dating Ayano's crush! What will Ayano do? How far will she go for her love? How far could you go for yours?





	1. 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥 for "loveless"!

DISCLAIMER:

This is my version of Yandere Simulator, so the character types of the rivals and of Ayano are different! I also included some new characters that I'll hope you enjoy!

Wattpad: @lilsceneshoppe

(note: AO3 ver. may deter or improve on the Wattpad version of the story ie; different chapters, further explained character motivations, different dialogue)

CONTENT WARNING: Sex, Violence, mental illness, eating disorders, foul language, sexual harassment, heavy topics on morality

KEY:

📍- What act we're on

  * AO3- Act Two
  * Wattpad- Act Three



  
*This book is a High Achiever winner of The Fanfic Awards 2019 by @bellarina50 on Wattpad!

  
•Cast•  
Main [in order of appearance]:

 _ •Ayano Aishi. _ _......16 y/o, smart and "in love"_  
 _•_ _ Megumi Ito.. _ _.....16 y/o, quiet, recovering from an illness_  
 _•_ _ Kokona Haruka _ _......17 y/o, manipulative but hiding something profoundly sad_  
 _•_ _ Hana Suzuki. _ _.....16 y/o, naive but loyal_  
 _•_ _ Taro Yamada (Senpai) _ _.....18 y/o, wants to feel good all the time_  
 _•_ _ Info-Chan _ _......17 y/o, smart and wanting more from love_  
 _•_ _ Keito Tanaka _ _......17 y/o, naive but loyal and loving_

Rivals [in order of appearance]:

ACT ONE:   
_Kokona Haruka_

📍ACT TWO:   
_Asu Rito_   
_Oka Ruto_   
_Kizana Sunobu_

ACT THREE:   
_Muja Kina & Mida Rana_   
_Amai Odayaka & Osoro Shidesu_   
_Hanako Yamada_

ACT FOUR:   
_Megami Saikou_   
_Osana Najimi_

_•Place•_   
_Akademi High School, Ayano Aishi's House_   
_Country: Shibuya, Japan (Kanto region)_

_•Time•_   
_The present, 20xx~_


	2. DAY 1

CHAPTER 1:

"~Ayano Aishi, love is a stranger~ ♪"

•~•

It's really cold.

I keep shivering as I try to warm myself up by crossing my arms together. Whenever I sigh, a grey vapor exits my mouth. My numb fingers are freezing up like tiny icicles as I squeeze the sleeves of my crimson uniform. Everyone's trying to hurry up to get to their jobs. My shoulders are already sore from tall and short people alike bumping into me in such a rush. Cars beep and zoom right pass me, splashing puddles in the street. Soaking a part of my socks.

The billboards on top of the large buildings are already lighting up because it's so grey and gloomy. My eyes grow wide and my jaw drops as I gaze up at them. All the pinks, reds, blues, purples, and greens on the boards stand out from each other. It looks...amazing... Then again, everything seems beautiful nowadays. 'Cause on a rainy day like this, I met someone. An upperclassman actually, at my school. The truth is, I met the boy on a cold, rainy, Friday afternoon. "And my fate has began to change".

I stop and wait at the intersection, listening for the pedestrian jingle. As soon as the green walking sign lit up and the jingle came, I quickly cross the 3 way intersection; Heading full speed ahead to Shibuya Station.

  
•~•

I step down the wide steps of the train station; Hearing my footsteps clomp on the tile floor. I glance at the sign of an arrow and above it the word 'KEIO' painted on a giant blue pillar. There's a giant mural on the wall as I walk down the steps. It's an explosion of reds, blues, greens, and yellows. I read somewhere it had something to do with Hiroshima. All that chaos...

I stop and notice the advertisements of my dad's cosmetics company plastered on every screen in the station. It's the same picture I know by heart now; A wide-eyed girl with porcelain white skin, smearing a bit of the green sugar scrub on her cheek. In front of her are words in kanji typed in a cheery, bright-yellow font. It states the same slogan: " _Are you truly happy with you? Think again when you try this critically-acclaimed sugar scrub! You'll soon discover true happiness!"_

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the train leaving to Shinjuku boards in six minutes. I repeat, the train leaving to Shinjuku boards in six minutes. Thank you, and have a nice trip!" a high-pitched announcer echoes through the speakers.

I shake myself out of the strangely haunting ad campaign daze and hurry to the Yamanote line (where the train to Shinjuku is). As I start thinking about the upperclassman...His wholesome, contagious laugh, those eyes...the fact that I get to see him again today. I feel a tingle rush through my fingertips and all the way down to my toes! I run faster with a skip in my step and a gigantic grin beaming on my face! Senpai has totally changed my way of thinking. I didn't used to pay this much attention to the world around me. I was just...drifting through my routine. But now I'm actually excited to get to school! I still remember the scent of his warm jumper when he gave it to me that rainy day.

"'Scuse me! Sorry!" I perkily say to people as I skip past them.

I finally reach the line. Just in time, too. The incoming train beeps, the track screeches as the train comes to a halt. The doors swish open. I hurry in to take my seat before the sea of people start flooding in. I let out a sigh of relief. I unbutton and flip open my bag; Pulling out my pink phone and stuffing the small, silicon buds in my ears. I press the button on the side of the phone to wake it up.

"Instagram- (itsinfochan): Thx 4 following me on instagram!!!" A notification says. I unlock my phone and type back, "No prob!"

•~•

"Hi, Yan-chan!"

"Hey, Yan-chan!"

"Good morning, Yan-chan!"

"Morning, everyone!" I greet back with the same smile stretching across my face.

I stride my way towards Akademi High School. My playing field. Outside, the rain starts to drizzle down on everyone entering through the gates. The students immediately run towards the long, stone pathway to the entrance of the school. I find more students in the circular courtyard, surrounded by hundreds of pink Sakura trees planted in a circle around them. The huge fountain in the middle still spurts out water as the rain collects in the porcelain bowl. The students sprint out of the courtyard, covering their heads with books and binders and head towards the entrance in a panic. I smirk at them. Cold raindrops drop on my head and completely soak my hair. I simply just laugh it off. I don't care! As long as Senpai is here.

I finally reach the entrance and step inside the school; With the glass doors already wide open for our convenience. Just in front of the entrance, is the grey locker area. All the students go to their assigned small, metal cupboards. They unlock them to slip off their shoes and put away anything they don't need. Some are kneeling down to the tile floors to open their lockers 'cause they got the short end of the stick. Luckily, I didn't. After I open my locker and slip on my school shoes, I stroll through the corridors towards Class 3A.

My friend, Haruka Kokona texted the "kanto kuties uwu" group chat last night that there's something important we have to see. I reach the East Wing, where class 3A is, and slide open the door. I gasp.

"Megumi!" I exclaim.

Megumi comes up from her desk to hug me. I still can't feel the full weight of her arms as she wraps them around my neck though, just the soft sleeves of her uniform.

"Megumi—-oh my god! You're back!" I exclaim.

"Megumi came back from the hospital yesterday, she just got discharged," Haruka-chan states.

"I know, she didn't tell me either!" Suzuki-chan adds.

"How was it?" I ask Megumi-chan.

"Oh, it was wonderful. The staff were SO nice," her eyes widen when she says the word 'so'. "So, now I can eat some bread, a cup of soup, and these breakfast bars!" Megumi-chan says as she lifts up the breakfast bar to show me. "They said these bars help me, gain back the weight I lost," Megumi-chan almost chokes up as she says that last line.

"Come sit down, Yan-chan! Put your feet up!" Haruka-chan says to me.

I follow her orders, stepping over to my desk to sit down.

•~•

These are my three best friends. Megumi Ito, Hana Suzuki, and the queen of them all, Kokona Haruka. I take one look at Haruka-chan.

Kokona Haruka, our lovely class president. Oh, where would I begin? The one defining, iconic feature about her is hands-down...her hair. It's violet, she has cute side-swept bangs covering her forehead that fit her heart-shaped face nicely. The rest of her vibrant hair is always wrapped in two pigtails with coils that she has to curl every morning before she gets here. She makes sure everyone in her class is in order, both grades and behavioral wise. Alas, the type of person to tell a girl to pull down her skirt while her own skirt is above the knee. Some say she's the "class president to end all class presidents". I say, they're being a bit...extra. Speaking of behavior, she really good at that as well. Almost too good, at times. Like, it suffocating her to not say how she really feels, in order to keep that 'nice, perfect student' aesthetic. Some days I wonder if she's going to explode.

"I have to cancel the track meeting...ugh, what a shame," Suzuki-chan sighs.

My eyes glance over to her. Suzuki-chan is the track team leader. She runs so fast, she even beats the guys by 6 seconds. Outside of school, she usually dresses in tight, black leggings and oversized sweatshirts from American companies; Sporting also a pixie haircut to top the tomboyish look. I would say she's more...simple-minded. It's not exactly a bad thing. Some people call her an airhead. Well, at least she's not as troubled with the dark, existential stuff in our minds. She can just forget about it easily. Lucky her.

"Come on, Megumi-chan! You gotta eat the whole bar!" Haruka-chan says to her.

Finally, my eyes glide over to Megumi-chan. Megumi Ito, she's more of a troubled person. She's part of the gaming club. She has long, uncombed hair. Outside of school you'll mostly see her in baggy clothes that hide her body. Some parts of her cheeks are a bit yellow. She's thin and frail, but not as bad as I saw her last time. She likes to be distracted. She likes to binge-eat. After that, she goes to the bathroom.

"You have only a few bites left, work with me here!" Haruka-chan yells at her in frustration.

Me? I'm not in any clubs. Haruka-chan kind of just took me under her wing because she saw I was "desperate and innocent". Her words, not mine. Or maybe it was because I had one of the best grades in my class last year? Haven't decided her meaning yet.

Ding, ding, ding, dong! The dreaded bell rings. Haruka-chan hurries next to the teacher's desk.

She clears her throat, and says, "Please, rise!" We all stand up at the same time.

"Now, sit!" she states again.

•~•

It feels humid and sticky in the classroom as I twiddled my fingers in the air... ...I hate it. I reach behind my chair to slip out the bento-box from my bag. I plop the box on my desk and open the lid up. It's full of white rice, tiny sausages and a light soup in a small cup. All in their each individual sections, in the perfect portion sizes.

"Who are you texting, Suzuki-chan?" Haruka-chan asked.

I look over and see Suzuki-chan shoving her phone right up to her face.

"No one. I'm making a healthy meal plan for Megumi-chan! It's vegan." 

"Vegan? In this country?" Haruka-chan sneers.

"Well, keep laughing! I heard going vegan helps!" Suzuki-chan defends. Megumi-chan stares blankly at her food.

"Megumi-chan—-" I start.

"You know what will make you feel better, Megumi-chan? Ta-da!" Haruka-chan whips out her phone and shoves it in Megumi-chan's face.

I lean my head over to Megumi's desk to take a peek at it. It's... ...Just a hot pink background with the middle of it being a white square that says "¥40% Off!"

"Forty percent off on all clothes! You love this store, remember? Let's go today!" Haruka-chan exclaims.

I let out a tiny gasp, my eyes grow wide. I dart at Haruka-chan with a "wtf" look. I know Haruka-chan is not naive to say something like that to a person fresh out of the hospital.

"Hmm? What's wrong?" Haruka-chan states with this doe-eyed, innocent look of hers. One of those where I can't tell if it's real or fake.

 _Maybe she didn't really mean it_...I think.

"Nothing," I back away.

•~•

"Goodnight, Yan-chan!"

"Have a good night, Yan-chan!"

"Be safe, Yan-chan!"

"See you tomorrow, everyone!" I wave back at them.

I walk out of the school doors and into the Sakura Tree filled courtyard again. As I try to adjust the way the strap of my bag fits over my shoulder, my eyes wander to a group of friends who pass me by. I know them, too. All laughing, all have excellent grades. All have perfect skin. (Bet they use my dad's products, no doubt.)

All have the same, perfect hair with no locks out of place too, if I could get close enough to see. The perfect Japanese Student...the ideal Japanese Student everyone wants to be. I used to envy them, 'cause I only had a third of what it took to be them. But now, I 'glowed up'. Ever since I met Megumi, Kokona, and Hana. Everything comes in full circle. I've now learned, it's really doesn't take that much to be "popular", surprisingly. All you have to do, is know people, know what they want, and give it to them—-

Suddenly, I gasp. My heart beats faster, I feel excitement coursing through my veins. Senpai bumps into me. Somehow, my shoulders don't even hurt a bit. With his slightly messy hair, his charcoal dark eyes that can swallow you whole, and his intoxicating smile.

"Oh, um, sorry kid! Have a good night!" Senpai apologizes. My cheeks start to burn.

"Oh, no, it's fine! It-it's fine!" I respond. But, he already left.

_Whyyyyy..._

•~•

A pink ceiling. I'm staring at a giant pink ceiling. My giant pink ceiling. While laying on my giant, pink, soft bed.

 _He called me 'kid',_ I think. Ping! There goes my phone. I let out a sigh. I sit up and pick up the phone from a nightstand placed right next to my bed. I tuck a few strands of my hair behind my ear as I tap the notification.

•~•

itsinfochan🟢

( _Active now)_

Today | 16:04 pm

itsinfochan: hey! How are u?

**  
I'm fine. My friend came back from the hospital.**

itsinfochan: rlly? That's rlly cool!

**yep!**

**how are u?**

itsinfochan: Fine. I'm so stressed about these autumn exams, though!

**I've already had my exams. Good luck to u!**

itsinfochan: Actually I was hoping u could help me study...

itsinfochan: would u?

**of course!**

itsinfochan: thank u! ur the best!

**no prob!**

•~•


	3. DAY 2

CHAPTER 2:

" _her status quo_ "

•~•

A blossom tree.

I had a dream. A dream where I was under a blossom tree. The day was bright. Too bright. It felt unsettling. Like seeing an over-saturated digital drawing. Or, like eating too much candy.

Then, I confessed to senpai. Senpai accepted and he kissed me passionately, then and there. We ate ice cream together after that, and we sat at lunch soon after. And went on dates. And we had our first time toge—-

•~•

I flutter my eyes open. My body feels like it's trapped right under a heat wave! Sweat drips down from my underarms, my neck and cheeks are burning up.

I toss and turn, squeezing my covers as thoughts of the dream race through my mind. Nothing's comfortable now. I turn my back to the side. I'm cringing at those thoughts now that I'm looking back. But just a little while ago I thought they were sexy!

That made me squeeze the covers just a little tighter. Crumpling them up, like paper.

I feel guilty for having these dreams about Senpai. They've been going on a week straight. Beats nightmares, though.

I turn, facing the pink ceiling again. I pat my stomach with my hands like a drum.

Or...does it? I think. You would think these dreams are kind of a blessing. But it probably hurts even more. At least most of the time my nightmares are about things that don't exist in real life. Like giant monsters.

But, he does exist. I feel like I'm perverting him into doing whatever I want him to do. And I feel guilty about it.

It was just a one time thing, and I have to accept that. Why can't I accept it?!

Because, deep down in my heart, if I were to get majorly sick and go to the hospital, he won't be there with my favorite kind of flowers. He won't even know I'm in there. Or, he won't care in the slightest.

...He hasn't even accepted my follow request yet. Let alone a full on confession. I'm such an idiot-

Ping! The sudden sound of the phone echoing through the hollow, wooden stand gets my heart beating out of my chest!

I lift my phone from the nightstand. I squint at the bright, blue light in front of me.

And speaking of followers, the notification states: "Instagram-(love.kokona~) to 'kanto kuties uwu'"

"....What does she want noooooow...." I tiredly groan to myself while tapping the notification.

**love.kokona~: Meet me by the locker area when u wake up ladies! I have something important to tell u all!!!!🥰🥰😍**

BOOM!

"Ahhh!" I scream.

I whip my head towards the windows and see a bright, white stroke of light flash in my eyes. I hear tiny raindrops start pouring down on my roof. 

•~•

"♪ _~All I Have To Do Is Dream~ ♪"_

•~•

I can't believe I'm walking to school.

And I forgot my umbrella in such a rush 'cause I fell back to sleep. And I missed the train. I refused to let my driver take me there. Granted, I guess I can't really not believe I'm walking to school.

But now I find myself walking in soggy socks, wet hair, and soaked clothes.

Suddenly, I hear a tiny honk from behind me. 

"Hey! Better not be late to school, Yan-chan! Haruka-chan's designed a rendezvous for us!" Suzuki-chan yells as she rides passed me on her bike.

"Suzuki-chan! You got a bike? Let me have a ride!" I laugh back.

•~•

"I'm glad you all could make it!" Haruka-chan states, "and Suzuki-chan, thank you for helping our dear friend!"

"No problem! You can count on me!" Suzuki-chan states proudly.

"Sure. So. Yan-chan! Why didn't you come to the mall with us?" Haruka-chan questions. 

"I was helping someone study," I explain, following up with a "What? I can't do that now?"

"You could've at least DM'd us. We all had a really good time! Didn't we?"

"Yep! I had tons of Ice cream!" Suzuki-chan states.

"Yes, they both helped me pick out clothes and I, ahem, tried them on," Megumi-chan says with a monotone voice.

"Well, I'm glad you guys had fun," I say back to avoid more conflict, "Now what's this thing you were talking about?"

"Well," Haruka-chan giggles, " I was, struck by love!"

"Oh? Who's the lucky guy?" I ask. 

"Babe," Haruka-chan says as she motions someone to come towards us.

Suddenly I feel that same tingly feeling from yesterday. But it wasn't long until—

"This is my new boyfriend!" Haruka-chan exclaims.

—-My heart sinks right to the bottom.

I bite my lip. Eyes are starting to sting. Something lumps in my throat...a pit drops in my gut—

"WOW! How'd you two meet?" Megumi-chan asks. Her eyes widen as she says 'wow'.

"It was raining, and you two had already left. And I had to walk home alone in the rain! But then, he put his umbrella over me—-"

No...

"And gave me his warm jumper to cover up in!"

God damnit!

I force a painful smile, clear my throat, and say, "Wow! You two look great together!"

As I say that, I feel a part of me shrivel up and die like a rose...it was my heart.

•~•

I slam my head on the waist-high table in front of me.

"Ughhhh..." I groan.

"Wow, you seem even less focused than me, and you're supposed to be my tutor!" It'sinfochan says to me on the phone I prop up in front of my water bottle for support.

"I'm stressed out right now, I'm sorry," I reply.

"What's stressing you out?" She asks.

I lift my head up from the table and say, "My friend is dating my crush now."

"Oh. Oh-wow. Did she confess to him under a Sakura tree?"

"Pshhh. It's too rainy for that. I'm not telling you where, though," I answer.

"Fair enough. That's gotta sting, Yan-chan. I feel even more bad for you than you feel bad for me for taking these exams."

I laugh.

"I actually feel kinda better now, I haven't been able to tell this to anyone all day!" I laugh in relief, "but, you're not gonna blackmail me with this, are you?"

"'Course not! Who do you think I am? Haha!"

"Don't say that it'll make me more suspicious!" I retort.

"Psssh, ok!"

"Well, we should probably get back to work," I advise while I sort my notes together into one pile.

"Okay!"

•~•


	4. WEEK TWO, DAY 3

CHAPTER 3:

"I'm fine."

•~•

I'm...fine.

I'm fine.

I'm a strong person.

I can handle it.

•~•

I slip on my soft pajama shorts, and uncover my sheets from the bed. I jump in, bouncing some of the pillows to the floor.

I reach over to pick them up, and find my stuffed bear, bear-kun!

I embrace him in my arms, and fall back on the bed.

"I haven't seen you in forever!" I say as I hold bear-kun up to my face.

"Things are complicated now, but, I'm trying! And I want to support my friend. There's something more going on with Haruka-chan, though. She's being more, bitter, especially to Megumi-chan."

I then gasp.

"What if she's finally snapped?" I question.

I sit up from the bed.

"Her parents are strict as hell, so maybe her being a bit passive aggressive is her way of rebelling! I wish she wouldn't take it out on us, though."

I looked at bear-kun, and imagined him saying, 'Brilliant. Go to sleep now.' In a sarcastic undertone. Classic bear-kun. 

"Yeah, you're right," I respond.

I slip the covers over me.

•~•

CHAPTER 4:

"Two Weeks later"

•~•

I don't know if I'm fine anymore.

Everyday, they go after school to go on dates. And they post them on Instagram and Snow afterwards. And they always get tons of likes. They eat ice cream together. They eat lunch together now even though he's an upperclassman. They passionately kiss each other in the rain!

I mean, I'm happy she's happy. She deserves it for working so hard. But, I don't know if I can take i-

_Ding, ding, ding, dong!_

I jump in my seat.

I look at my surroundings. I'm sitting on a cold, hard seat; holding a mechanic pencil over notebook paper. I hear the noises of chairs squeaking and the rustling of students packing up their books.

"What the hell?" I mouth to myself.

Wait, of course I'm at school, I think, Why am I so shocked?

I close my eyes, and breathe in and out slowly, like our school's stress adviser taught us.

"Make sure you turn in that homework to me by tomorrow or I'll have to fail you for the entire day! Remember, in real life, you could get fired from your job if you do the exact same thing!" The teacher advises all of us.

I open my eyes and stand up from the desk, then drop my notebooks and pencils into the bag. I feel someone come up from behind me.

"Yan-chan?" I hear Haruka-chan question.

"Hmm?" I reply as I turn around to face her.

"I know this is really crappy, but I'm supposed to get the information on who made the top 100 in exams printed out and given to the student council by tonight. Any chance...you can knock it out now for me?" Haruka-chan asks with a friendly smile as her hands were locked together in the praying position.

"Why can't you—-" then, I suddenly remember why, and respond with 'okay.'

"Is that alright?" Haruka-chan questions again.

"I said okay, Haruka-chan. It's fine, I'll do it."

"Oh-my-god, thank you so much! And if you want to give a copy to me, pop on down to the mall! Senpai and I will be there!" Haruka-chan says while bouncing out of the room in excitement.

I step out of the classroom and head over to the computer lab. I use the breathing technique again.

•~•

_Whoosh!_

The bus drives pass me; leaving a thick trail of grey smoke behind that makes me cough.

It's surprisingly not raining outside.

I step up the grey, concrete stairs, and open the glass doors into the mall.

I look at Haruka-chan's text saying that she was at the food court. I sprint right over there.

This better be worth it, I think, The next train leaves in 30 minutes!

"Haruka-chan!" I yell to get her attention.

Haruka-chan steps out of the food court and down the grey stairs. I whip out the 100 list and hand it to her.

"Thank you so much! You're a lifesaver!" Haruka-chan says as she looks down at the paper, "Perfect!"

"Did you want to pop down for a snack? You look parched, Yan-chan."

I respond with, "Nah. I can't. Got a train to catch and it's in 30 minutes."

"See you tomorrow, then!" Haruka-chan says as she grazes back up the stairs.

I instinctively take one look at senpai as he eats his ramen next to the fence that goes around the food court.

Then, senpai turns his head to look at me. I jump, quickly averting my eyes from him.

I start walking back towards the entrance. But then, on the bright screens plugged in next to the stores I see my dad's ad campaign once again. The same picture of the wide-eyed girl with porcelain skin rubbing a green sugar scrub on her cheek. The same question, "Are you truly happy with you?" Is now leaving me even more unsettled, but I can't put my finger on why it's making me unsettled....


	5. WEEK TWO, DAY 4

CHAPTER 5:

_"She said, 'But thank you, you know. For trying.'"_

•~•

I take in a deep breath with my nose and slowly let it out through my mouth. Again, like what our school's stress adviser taught us.

The bright, warm sun beams down on my skin like a blanket. I adjust myself more to the right on the soft, red recliner.

I should be relaxed right now. But, I'm not relaxed. Something's gnawing on my happiness.

There's something up with the 100 list I gave to Haruka-chan (and the student council). I can't help but feel like something's missing...

I lift myself up and criss-cross my legs. I grab the list and a black sharpie out of my backpack, lay back down and position the list in front of me by folding my legs up, using them as a stand.

I guide my eyes down the list by using my index finger. 100, 99, 98, 97...86...84?

I lift myself back up again. I yank out the sharpie from its cap with my mouth and circle the space between 86 and 84.

"There's no number 85," I whisper to myself.

I pick up my phone from the small,baby-blue painted table next to me. I quickly tap in my password, open Instagram, and start typing.

•~•

love.kokona🟢

( _Active today_ )

you can't see this story after 24 hours | ⏱

love.kokona: this is so funny yan-chan!   


😂😂😂

_seen_

Today | 10:53 am

**Haruka-chan!**

_typing..._

love.kokona: yea?

**There's been a mistake w/ the 100 list. There's no number 85.**

love.kokona: oh? i know they haven't made a mistake. maybe ur eyes are tricking u. I know when my eyes r tricking me sometimes i don't see things that r there. but when i look at them again they r!!

**Thanks 4 the life story. But this is serious!! We could b spreading false info!!**

love.kokona: i know its right! i even looked over it myself about 10x!!!!"

**k. I'll send you a pic.**

love.kokona: just show me Monday morning. i wanna see the paper myself. I've given mine 2 student council already. plus, ive got a meeting w/ them anyway 🤷

love.kokona: maybs you can come w/ to tell them what ur talking about.

**k. I'll do it.**

•~•

"Monday Morning."

I adjust the strap of the bag on my shoulders again as I step into the school. I scan the area, looking for Haruka-chan. Not here, not there, not on the left, not on the right...where is she?!

"Oh, morning Yan-chan!"

"Hey, Yan-chan!"

"Good morning, Yan-chan!"

"Morning, guys!" I quickly greet everyone.

Then, out of the corner of my eye I see a girl with violet pigtails strolling down the East Wing; hugging a thick stack of papers in her arms.

"Haruka-chan? Haruka-chan!" I say as I run over to get her attention.   


"Yes, Yan-chan, that's my name."

I whip out the list from my bag and show it to her.

"You see, I circled it! There's no number 85!" I tell her.

"I'm sure it's fine," Haruka-chan ensures as she slips the list from my hand, "But thank you, you know. For trying. The meeting's today though, you ready?" 

Haruka-chan slides open the door to our class and steps in.

I'm not wrong, I think. I'm never wrong!

•~•


	6. WEEK TWO, DAY 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry I haven’t updated! My goal is to update at least up to Act Two. Thank you to all of you who gave me kudos, I really appreciate it.  
> —lilsceneshoppe

CHAPTER 6 + 7:

"The Final Straw" and "Kokona Haruka: The 12th rival {Part 1}"

•~•

Wait?! Am I crazy?!

I slam my head down on the small, wooden, waist-tall table in front of me multiple times and groan.

I'm thinking about murdering one of my best friends. What the hell?!

I pick my head up, yank the phone out of my charger and tap to YouTube to watch what was on my sub list. I tap on a video and see only the little, spinning loading sign. I groan again.

I look at the corner of my phone and it says "video will play after ad". I hear cheesy, 'upbeat' stock music start playing as I see the same picture of the wide-eyed girl with porcelain white skin rubbing a green sugar-scrub on her face.

"Are you truly happy with you?" The narrator starts.

"Ugh, come on!" I exclaim.

I exit out of YouTube and go into my Instagram.

The first post that pops up from my feed is a pic from four months ago on Haruka-chan’s account. It's a pic of us hanging out at the beach with our expensive swimsuits!

"Aww man, I remember when we did that!" I say to myself, "That was before Megumi-chan went to the hospital. Haruka-chan bought a swimsuit for Megumi-chan 'cause Megumi-chan was so stressed out about her body and-"

Or maybe Haruka-chan bought a swimsuit before and Megumi-chan started stressing cause she thought it didn't look good on her...

I cup my mouth with my hand.

No...No way, I think.

I dismiss the thought and quickly scroll down to another picture. This time we were trying the ten-thousand calories pretzel challenge that we bought at Akihabara.

That was a good day because we were all so full we couldn't eat anything else that day!

But then again, Suzuki-chan had an important track meet the next day and Megumi-chan...Suzuki-chan ended up feeling really sluggish and couldn't do the meet. Megumi-chan felt fat and threw up the calories. I felt fat so I ended up burning the calories anyway I can. That includes not eating anything for the next two days...

I notice I'm breathing heavier than I usually do. There's a lump stuck in my throat, cold snot ran down my nostrils. My head felt like there was a thirty-pound weight crushing it. My heart's pounding fast.

_Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump!_

I tap to my home feed again. 

_Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump!_

There's posts of Haruka-chan and senpai bombarding me.

_Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump!_

I try swallowing the lump in my throat but it won't go away.

In the pics, Haruka-chan has her legs on his lap in the food court and he's touching her thigh.

There's another one where they're eating crepes together, and Haruka-chan licks the cream off his cheek with her tongue.

Something's bubbling in my stomach. It stings my insides. I wince and hold my stomach, then rub it to calm it down.

I feel like gagging. I squeeze my eyes shut and swallow to try and get rid of the feeling.

The most recent one is them...

Someone snapped them kissing, and their tongues are showing- the caption says: ' _for all the ppl who hated on me for dating him...shoulda got him when u had the chance!♥️ He's a great kisser btw😘'_

I throw my phone across the room. Boom! It slams into the wall, then hits the ground.

"Why are you doing this to me?! Why can't you just be a friend?!" I scream at the wall.   
  


Something acidic starts rising up in me, burning the trail to my throat in the process. I arch forward and gag, trying to cover my mouth.

I rush to the bathroom, flip open the toilet seat, gag again, and then spill the very detailed lunch my chef made me earlier into the bowl.

I couldn't keep it in.

•~•

* * *

CHAPTER 7:

"Kokona Haruka: The 12th Ranked Rival

{Part 1}."

•~•

I pace back and forth around the room as I dial itsinfochan's number on my now cracked phone.

The sounds of frantic tapping from my fingernails on my phone case sounds like Morse code: tap tap tap TAP TAP TAP tap tap tap.

I then hear her pick up.

"Yan-chan? I thought you were angr—-"

"I think we should do it," I state bluntly.

"..."

"....."

"... Really?" She asks.

"Really," I answer.

"Are you sure?" She questions.

"Yes. I'm sure. Senpai's gonna be mine after this though, right?" I ask.  
  


"I mean, probably. Maybe you're both his type."

"I'll take that chance," I state.

"Okay, alright so I've set it up for...is tomorrow a good night for you?"

"Yeah.”

"So, ask her tomorrow, if you could meet up at night. I will take care of the security cameras. And I'll send you a fake suicide note in your mail tomorrow. Be sure to wear gloves," itsinfochan advises.

"Maybe, _I_ should write the note...it seems fitting..." I suggest.

"Okay, do whatever you need to do...and remember. You cannot hesitate. The only thing worse than being unkind or evil is to be indecisive. If you're gonna do this, go all the way."

"Wait. Just one question," I begin.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you doing this? You barely know me!"

"..."

"...Hello?" I ask.

"It's...exciting," she admits, "I want to see you succeed in your love story."

"K, but, I don't- I don't love him," I interrupt. "I know it's a crush. But not love. Kokona's just a terrible fit for him. That's all—-"

"Yan-chan, I never got to succeed in my love story. I know how much it hurts. I know the sleepless nights, and seeing him everyday at school but there's this wall preventing you from talking to him. Yan-chan, we will get through this together! Okay?"

I nod my head. "Ye-Yeah. Okay. Let's do this. To clarify, I don't love—-"

itsinfochan hangs up.

I take in a deep breath, then head over to my desk. I rip out of piece of paper and pick out a mechanical pencil from the metal jar.

•~•


	7. WEEK TWO, DAY 6

CHAPTER 8:

"Kokona Haruka: The 12th ranked rival {Part 2}"

•~•

"So you’re saying you wanna hang out tonight?" Haruka-chan questions back.

"Yeah!"

Haruka-chan closes her locker shut.

"Hmm. I don't know, Yan-chan. I might have plans with senpai tonight."

I glance over to the tile floor. How can I make her go? 

"What's on your mind?" Haruka-chan questions as she leans her head against her locker.

I take a minute before answering. 

"Yan-chan?" She asks me again.

I look back at her and say, "It's just kinda crappy to just leave your friend hanging, you know."

Haruka-chan smirks, replying with,"You really want me to go, don't you?"

She then nods and answers, "M'kay. That's okay. I'll meet you back here at seven."

Haruka-chan then gleefully strolls off to our homeroom. My lips curl into a small smirk.

But then, I look down at my hands. They’re shaking.

"Shit," I mumble under my breath.

I rush to the bathroom.

I turn on the faucet and splash my face with ice cold water. I cough. Then breathe in and out slowly again.

My hands are still trembling when I zip my bag open and grab my phone.

I dial itsinfochan's number.

"Yan-chan! You ready for tonight?”

"I don't think I can do this!" I admit.

"...Why?" She questions.

"It's... it's messed up! I shouldn't be _excited_ about killing my best friend!" I rant.

"You need to go all the way. You can't just half kill her and risk her coming back and ruining your life. You either do it or you don't."

"I don't! Screw this! Screw you! Screw your 'you cannot hesitate' advice!" I scream at her.

"Yan-chan, think of how good it's going to feel when you two get together! Who else do you think of, late at night? There's no one else you want!"

"No, fuck off."

I then hang up.  
  


•~•  
  


I step into the classroom and take my seat next to Megumi-chan's empty desk.

"Yan-chan? What's wrong?" Suzuki-chan asks me from her desk behind mine.

"Yeah, babe! You look like you're gonna be sick. Even sicker than Megumi-chan!" Haruka-chan jokes in her desk next to Suzuki-chan.

I turn around and glare at her.

"Relax, it's just a joke.”

"Yeah, a lame one at that. What's your problem with her, anyway?" I question.

Haruka-chan's eyes grow wide as she forms a shocked expression on her face. One of those where I can't tell if it's exaggerated or genuine.

"Nothing. It's my job to keep all the students in line. And I'm just giving Megumi-chan some tough love—“

I smack the supplies off her desk, stand up, and slap her on the cheek, hard.

" 'Tough love' my ass! You're bullying her! I bet you're the one who started it in the first place--"

I notice that she was trying to hide a smirk on her face by covering it with her hand. The room goes dead silent. I frantically look everywhere. Everyone's glaring at me. I gulp.

"Ow! Why did you do that to me?!" Kokona claims while she fakes a voice crack.

That slap didn't even hurt her.

"I was always such a good friend to you! And you—-"

Kokona breaks into a full on sob.

"Haruka-chan! Are you okay?!" Suzuki-chan asks in concern.

Then, everyone surrounds her. My blood starts boiling. I clench my fists. I breath in and out way heavier than I should. 

"Ugh!" I grunt in frustration.

I stomp out of the classroom and throw the door shut. I angrily stride over to the locker area and start punching a row of them all at once.

"Screw. You. All!" I scream. "Why do I have to feel bad?! I'm trying to convince myself that she's _not_ a psychopathic bitch!"

"...Whoa. You okay, kid?"

There's that familiar, warm, deep voice again. And yet again, my face gets red hot.

I immediately stop when I hear him.

"Yan-chan, right?" He says as I sense him stepping closer to me.

I still look straight ahead at the lockers I punched. I can't face him right now.

I gulp again, and whisper with my now shaky voice, "You didn't know?"

"I got 85th on the top 100 list!" He claims, changing the subject.

"Congratulations," I reply in a cold tone.

"What did you get?"

"97th. Not that you care, anyway."

"Well, obviously if I didn't care I wouldn't ask," he retorts while laughing to soften the blow.

I feel him inch closer. My face gets even redder.

"Why aren't you looking at me?" He asks.

"..."

"...."

"It hurts, don't you realize that?" I admit as my voice cracks.

I have a lump lodged in my throat again. Cold snot drips down my nostrils. I try to quickly wipe it away with my sleeve.

"It hurts so much!" I confess as hot tears spill down my cheeks. I take in tiny gulps of air.

He suddenly turns me around and cups my face into his warm, soft hands. He looks at me directly in the eyes.

"I didn't forget, just so you know," he admits as he wipes my tears away with his thumbs.

"Then why are you dating her?! You're using her!" I point out as more hot tears drip down my face.

I gulp in more air to my lungs.

"I'm gonna let you in on a secret," he comes close to my ear and whispers "status."

"She knows she's being used, don't worry," he assures me.

I quickly push him away from me.

"Get away from me!" I demand. "This is too much!"

"What!?"

"I don't want you! Not like this! You never even loved her! How could you love me! Now get away the hell from me, you diluted loser!" I scream at him.

I immediately gasp and cover my mouth with my hand.

"K, if that's the case, then I'll leave," he says while looking at the floor.

He turns around and says "Bye, Ayano-chan."

"Wait! Wait, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I'm just stressed! I'm the loser! Senpai, I'm sorry!"

"Whatever," he replies bitterly while walking up to the stairwell.

•~•


	8. WEEK TWO, DAY 7

CHAPTER 9:

"Kokona Haruka: The 12th ranked rival {Part 3: 'BFFS forever'}"

•~•

I bought new rubber kitchen gloves earlier and slip them on my hands. I wiggle my fingers around a bit to make them fit.

I step into the kitchen and open the knife drawer. I pick out the biggest knife there, gazing at it as it's intimidating presence stares back into me.

It slightly shines in the moonlight when I put it by the window. I carefully slip the knife in between my shirt and in the new pocket I made for my skirt, covering it up. I close the drawer.

I step out of the house, having my driver wait for me outside to take me to the school.

I step into the car and close the door shut.

"What's the gloves for, Aishi-san?" My driver asks.

"Um, we're cleaning the school," I reply.

"Right."

He starts the engine, turns the steering wheel and drives off. I let out a sigh, closing my eyes. Then, they flutter open again as I hear my phone ping. I take a sharp breath and slip out my phone from my other skirt pocket.

My eyes squint from the bright, blue light again. It's a text from it'sinfochan. I tap to go to the convo.  
  


•~•

itsinfochan🟢

(Active now)

Today | 20:45 pm

itsinfochan: There's some guys waiting for u at the entrance.

**Me:**

**What??? Why???**

**Did Kokona hire them??**

  
itsinfochan: I think so, I examined the brand on their uniforms and they’re body guards. I checked Kokona’s digital receipt and it confirmed that she bought them today using her father’s credit card.

**Me:**

**Omg...how does she know what I’m about to do??? Did u tell her???**

itsinfochan: no. ofc not. Ur gonna b ok tho, I promise. Whatever u do, DO NOT KILL THEM. Knock them out...

**Me:**

**and how will I do that??**

itsinfochan: I’ve stashed some tranquilizer guns somewhere under the trees. If that doesn’t work, just find their pressure points. For most people it's in their neck or the skin between their thumb and their index finger.

**Me:**

**what if they wake up and remember me???**

itsinfochan: I'll take care of it. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

  
•~•

She was right. There are some guys.

I quickly sneak over to the cherry blossom trees and snatch the guns 

I then walk over to the entrance. Only to see two guys in black suits standing guard. I slip the gun under my shirt.

"Hello!" I greet the two body guards. "What are you two doing here? I’ve never seen you here before. They usually just leave the door open for me because they trust me, you know?"

"We're here to keep guard of the school. Do you have any business with it?" one questions.

"Yes, I'm here to clean it."

"Where's your supplies?" The other one asks.

"In my classroom."

"What are you planning on cleaning?" the first one questions again.

"The hallway."

"I don't think you are," The other one states.

They both step closer to me. I inch backward.

I put my hand behind my back and grab the gun. I put my finger on the trigger.

"Listen, we know why you're here, so just go home now before you do something you'll regr—“

I instantly shoot him in the cheek with a tranquilizer dart.

He looks at me in shock first, then his eyes roll over his head and he falls to the floor.

The other guy sprints towards me like a bullet train! I quickly duck when he tries to punch me in the face. He gets behind my back, I feel him trying to yank my gun away with his fingers; causing me to accidentally shoot the floor several times.

I elbow him hard in the stomach, he stumbles back slightly.

I quickly whip the gun towards him, and shoot him in the arm with the dart. It tears through his sleeve.

He looks at me with fear in his eyes, then they go white and he collapses to the floor.

I breathe in and out slowly to calm myself again. Both of my hands are shaking as I clench the gun.

I click the trigger again, but nothing comes out. I throw the gun in the grass.

I step over one of the guard's body and head inside.

My phone rings. I grab it out of my pocket again and slide the 'arrow' button to the right to answer it.

"Hello? You made it to the school, right?"itsinfochan asks.

"Yes."

"Okay, good. Hope those guys didn't make you much trouble! Now it's been kinda hard figuring out her fighting style but I assume that she’s _really_ flexible."

"How would you know that?" I ask.

"She used to be a level 4 in gymnastics before you guys met. I looked through her records. They don't call me info-chan for nothing, you know. She's in the west wing, by the way."

”Why has she never mentioned that to me before?” I quietly say to myself.

I walk over to the west wing.

"Anyway! Your ranked fight is just up ahead. Remember, you can't blow this. If you do, your life will be ruined! Trust your force, trust your strength! Head to the gates of insanity!" She exclaims.

"Wait, what?" 

itsinfochan hangs up.

I shrug, and slip my phone back into the pocket of my skirt.

I look ahead, and as fate will have it I see Haruka-chan standing at the end of the hallway.

"Kokona!" I yell aggressively to get her attention as I pace faster to her.

She turns around and says, "Yes, Ayano, that's my name."

Kokona raises her eyebrow and continues with, "You know what's funny? I always thought it would be Megumi-chan. Not you."

I rush faster to her.

"I'm not here to talk," I state cold and bluntly.

"So, those guys didn't give you that much trouble...pussies. They didn't do shit to help me. Did you kill them?"

"Do you see any blood on me?" I answer back.

"You might've shot them."

"Yeah, with a tranquilizer gun."

"Clever girl."

"Don't patronize me," I say. “How did you know? Did someone tell you?”

”No. You know I’m smarter than that.” She answers.

”What, so, you just didn’t _trust_ me?!”

”Well, look where we are right now! Even IF you’re one of my best friends, it’s suspicious as hell for you to ask me to come here on my own, in a dark, vacant space. And we ALWAYS hang out together as a group. I was right to be suspicious.”

"How'd you spend your day?" I question.

"I ate this steak dinner that I wanted. I punched my dad because he said that I was too cruel to my friends. My dad's a dick, anyway. I went out shopping with senpai and we did it for the first time..."

I cringe. Finally, I reach Kokona.

I gulp and state, "So, you spent your day well, that's good; cause it'll be your last."

"Like hell it will!" Kokona yells.

She slaps me hard on the cheek, I stumble back a bit. She then kicks me on the chin and I fall backwards hard onto the tile floor.

Kokona gets on top of me. I struggle to find my knife, but she pins my arms down.

"I see all these girls, and they wanna be like me--"

"Get the fuck off me!" I exclaim as I struggle to loosen her grip.

"No, let me finish my point! I see all these girls, sucking up to me. Trying to be like me, trying to get my power. I can see all through their acts. Including you."

"Including me?! I tried to be such a good friend to you!" I defend.

"Why?"

"Because I thought you were lonely!" I exclaim.

I kick her off me with my legs. My knife is still in between my shirt and my skirt, I whip it out and run up towards her.

Kokona gasps and yanks me by the arm. She snatches the knife and tosses it away.

I kick her in the knees and she falls back down.

I sprint to get the knife, but she yanks my leg, and slams me down with her, taking the air right out of my lungs.

I try to catch my breath again and wiggle to get her away from her grasp. I kick her face to mush and she lets go. I quickly snatch the knife back and get on top of her.

I pin her arms down.

"We tried to be such good friends to you!" I exclaim. 

Kokona sneers.

"If you guys just hung out with me because you felt sorry for me, then you don't deserve to be my friends."

She grabs my knife and aims for my eyes. I quickly move my face and she cuts my cheek open. I scream in pain and instinctively cover my face as it stings from the cut. Kokona gets up halfway, but I punch her in the face. She falls down again. I shake the hand I punched her with. Then I snatch the knife with the other hand, and hold it to her throat.

"It's over, Kokona."

"So it is. It's kinda sad, really. I could've been better..." She exasperatingly claims.

A huge, purplish bruise on the left side of her face forms. It covers mostly her eye and part of her cheek bone.

"You know that's not true," I answer.

"Not necessarily. The truth is that I really did love your senpai. Even though, I admit, I dated him to mess with you because I know what you two had. And I wanted it for myself. But I ended up falling in love with him. Serves me right, yeah? I loved him more than well...anyone...ever. It’s my fault. I can never just get out of my own head..."

I bit my lip. 

Why did she have to become like this now...

"Promise me...you'll be a better person?" Kokona asks.

"Yeah," I answer as I sniffle. "Yeah, I promise."

Kokona gives me a small, melancholic smile. She shuts her eyes as if she's about to go to sleep.

She whispers her last words, "We'll be BFFS forever..."

I clench the knife in my hand and swiftly slice open her throat. Her blood bursts out and splatters all over my face and shirt.

.

.

.

I'm stuck. I can't move. It's done. It's over with. I look at her in awe. My jaw drops to the floor.

The speakers suddenly turn on. It pierces through my eardrums. I cover my ears.

"Congratulations, Ayano-chan! You are now ranked 12th!" itsinfochan’s voice echoes through the hallway.

I gulp.

"I didn't expect it to be so...bittersweet," I respond, out of breath.

"Of course it's bittersweet! I hope you're not getting emotional!"

"Of course I am!" I retort.

"It had to be done. You killed her because you believed you were doing the right thing for yourself and others. Not because you were angry at her. And look, you still followed through, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but—-"

"Doing this is like being a soldier. You have to put your empathy aside. You can't get emotional now, this is just the beginning!"

My eyes widen.

"Just the beginning...wait, what do you mean I'm ranked 12th?!" I question.

"Well, there's more people. More competition for your senpai. I've researched it. About 11 more people above you,"itsinfochan explains. 

"What the hell?! You set me up?!"

"Quit your whining! You knew what you were getting into! You've already taken the first step. You want senpai, don't you? Or maybe you don't care and just murdered your best friend for nothing—-"

"Of course I care! I want him!" I defend.

"Good. I'll arrange the next fight soon."

.

.

.

Number 12:

Kokona Haruka- _**DEAD**_!

_**11 left to go.** _

•~•


	9. WEEK THREE, DAY 1 {p1}

CHAPTER 10:

"One Week Later"

•~•  
  


There's approximately one-hundred-and-ten bouquet of flowers on Haruka-chan's desk. I counted to distract myself.

When you step inside the entrance of the school, the locker area, her locker is plastered with a collage of pictures from her Snow and Instagram accounts. Along with her name decorated in these different colored foam letters glued to the door. 

You can't miss it.

I rest my head on the desk, using my arms as a pillow, and look out the window.   
  


•~•

" _♪~It was never meant to be, you and me. We're walking hand in hand, by the sea. It's not to be, you and me~♪"_

•~•

If you wondered what happened afterward, we did a (kind of) suicide clean up. I took out the note I wrote and put it next to her.

Covered it in her blood too for extra coverage.

I also took off her shoes, and placed the knife in her hand.

The weirdest thing is that, she was still smiling...

I went to the bathroom to wash the blood out of my hands, neck, and face.

I then stepped out of the school to see that the two guys I took down...were gone. So was the gun I tossed into the grass.

In place of them was an extra set of clothes and a packet of towelettes sitting on the ground. There was a yellow post-it-note sticking on top.

I picked it up, and it wrote in kanji, " _your gift for being the 12th ranked rival <3 Enjoy! (make sure to burn your clothes & this note.)"_

I crumpled up the note in my hand and slipped off my bloodied shirt and skirt.I threw everything in the furnace located in the corner behind the school. I turned it on, listening to the fire crackle inside, and burned them.

After I got dressed again, I went back inside one more time to wipe my fingerprints from the knife and her body using the towelettes. After, I called my driver to pick me up.   
  


When I got home, I went to my bathroom, turned the faucet of my bath to hot, watched the water fill up, put a bath bomb in it, slipped off my clothes, and stepped inside. I sat down in the warm water, and allowed myself to sink to the bottom of the bath.

" _We'll be bffs forever..."_

I kept thinking about what she said, about what I _did_.

I finally loosened the rope and let myself cry until I felt dizzy enough to pass out. I lifted myself up from the bottom of the bath and splashed my face with the dirty bath water.

•~•

  
And that's my story...

Haruka’s, according to the news, was ruled as a suicide. Info-chan showed me the footage she replaced for the security cameras inside the school. It’s an actress playing Haruka-chan slitting her throat. 

The thing that really messes with me the most is that she was completely redeemable right before she died.

I bet she wanted me to think that....that manipulative cunt!

"How are you feeling, Yan-chan?" Suzuki-chan asks as I hear her steps walk up to me.

"I'm just trying to push through it as best as I can," I reply while giving a somewhat fake, reassuring smile.

Suzuki-chan genuinely smiles back at me, and pats my head.

"Aren't we all?" She states.

"Alright, class 3A.” The teacher says to get the class's attention.

And it works. The room immediately goes silent and we all turn our heads to face him. We’ve been doing this for a week, hoping he’ll finally talk about what happened. 

He stares at us, parting his lips but not saying anything for a minute. We hear him gulp, and finally, he speaks with a hoarse voice.   
  
“I’m sure you all know about what happened to Haruka-san. It’s always a tragic thing to happen to anyone, especially a student that had such a bright future ahead like her. Now, I apologize for not talking about this sooner, I just wanted to give you all time to process everything. Now, there’s an important mental health aspect that I wanted to address with you all—“

Then, Yuzuki-chan, a girl from the back of the class, raises her hand. The teacher nods. 

“I heard that she left a note! Did you read it?” She asks.  
  
”Yes, she did leave a note. And no, I didn’t read it and I’m not quite sure how this is relevant in our discussion—“

”It’s _relevant_ because we can find out why Haruka-chan committed suicide.” Yuzuki-chan answers. 

“It got leaked in a twitter thread a couple days ago, and I read it,” Ren-san, a boy from the back of the class, blurts out.

”Really, what did it say?” Yuzuki-chan asks.

”Ren-san, raise your hand, please.” The teacher scolds.   
  
He rolls his eyes, then raises his hand high. The teacher nods and he drops it back down on the desk. 

”It was something about her parents and the pressure of school.” 

“Really? Is that it?” Yuna-chan, a girl from the front of the class, responds. “That’s literally something that happens everyday to all of us.”

”Now, Yuna-san, there are many factors to consider.” The teacher says. “Her home life might’ve not been as great as we thought it was. Maybe school was the same thing. There’s never only 1 or 2 reasons why someone would do this.”

She shakes her head and points to our group. “Yan-chan, Suzuki-chan, Ito-chan, you guys knew her best. What was her home life like?”

”Well, I mean, her parents were pressuring her a lot...” Megumi-chan answers.

”Yeah, but like the normal amount, right? If anything the pressure only increased her success in school.”   
  
”Obviously not considering that she would do something like this?” Megumi-chan replies. 

Yuna-chan sighs. “Am I the only one who thinks this isn’t normal? Seriously, I’m just trying to wrap my head around it. Why on Earth would she do this...she had SO much going for her! She was perfect...”

”What about the school aspect?” Itsuki-san, a boy in the front of the class, points out. 

“What do you mean, Itsuki-san?” The teacher questions.

“I mean we work too hard in school. We had to take a test in junior high so that we could be able to earn our way into high school! Students in other countries don’t have to do that!”

”You mean America? Look how great that’s working out for them...” Yuna-chan says.

”No, I mean like Norway. Norway’s happy. We’re obviously not happy and that is on our toxic workaholic culture that’s been distilled in us since we were kids. She probably got sick of it.” 

“Okay, kids, let’s please stop trying to find reasons why Haruka-san would do this and focus on how we can improve our OWN mental health.” The teacher states. 

The talking in the class slowly fades away as I focus my gaze on the clock above the chalkboard. I’m the only one aware that everyone in here is asking the wrong question. It’s not “Why would Haruka-chan kill herself?” It’s “Why would Haruka-chan let me do it?” Yes, she put up a fight but that didn’t last long. And she smiled at the end...maybe she really _was_ depressed. 

  
•~•

I take out my bento-box from the bag, and started eating these tiny, octopus shaped sausages my chef made for me this morning.

Meanwhile, Megumi-chan was devouring a piece of fried chicken.

"Whoa, what's up with you? Are you going the other way and eating your feelings?" Suzuki-chan states.

"At least she's eating..." I trail off.

"Screw it!" Megumi-chan answers as she tosses the chicken bone directly into the garbage can behind her.

She then grabs another chicken wing from her box.

Suzuki-chan pats her back and states, "I'm proud of you. Haruka-chan would've been proud too."

"Mhm," Megumi-chan responds.

Then, we hear something hit the ground. It comes out of Haruka-chan's old desk. Suzuki-chan picks it up.

"Oh, it's her red and blue bracelet you got for her birthday last year! You know, the one where it's red on one side, and blue on the other, and in the middle it turns purple!" Suzuki-chan claims.

She then looks at me with sad, droopy eyes.

"She'd want you to have it, Ayano-chan," Suzuki-chan says as she tosses it to me.

"She always say that you couldn't accessorize, even if your life was on the line! And you are her dearest friend! So it all works out!"

I slowly slide it on my wrist.

Would she want me to have it?

Soon, all of our phones ping at the same time. Everyone instinctively check their phones. Mine still sits in my bag. Suzuki-chan gasps and turns her phone face-down. She covers her mouth with her hands in shock.   
  
“It’s the leaked note. Someone sent the note in the class group chat.” She muffles.   
  


“I’m not looking at it,” Megumi-chan says as she puts her phone on her desk too. 

I don’t have to look it. I wrote it. I couldn’t say that, though. So instead I say “I’m not looking at it either.” 

Then, my phone pings again. I slip it out of my bag and hide it under the desk once I see who the text is from. 

•~•

itsinfochan🟢

(Active now)

Today | 11:45am

  
itsinfochan: I'm gonna set up the next fight soon. ok?

**Me:**

**geez, already? Let me grieve...**

itsinfochan: ur the 1 who killed her...

**Me:**

**Ik that!**

itsinfochan: Ik it's hard but you made that choice. And now weve gotta stand by it and push! I want you to succeed! anyway, while I'm setting it up I've got another mission for u

**Me:**

**Does it involve killing another person?!**

_Typing..._

itsinfochan: Nope! Senpai has his best friend, like u had urs. His name is Tanaka Keito. I took the liberty of researching him from his insta and snow account, and printed out his papers and address from peoplefinder.com! He's 17 and part of the basketball team with Senpai, he has a 3.5 gpa, lives with his mom and brother and has been buddies with senpai since he was 7

 **Me** :

**so???**

itsinfochan: I want u to befriend him. To get close to him, and therefore get close to senpai.

**Me:**

**but I'm already close??**

itsinfochan: not close enough. Tanaka-kun can tell u things about him that u didn't know. Plus if u befriend him, u will be in senpai's friend group, therefore, u have more of a chance!

**Me:**

**that's clever, actually...**

**Me:**

**k. I'll do it.**

•~•

Ding! Ding! Ding! Dong!

The sweet sound of the final bell. I let out a sigh of relief; releasing the pent up tension in my shoulders.

"Remember class, please take home an informational pamphlet on mental health. It’s on my desk.” The teacher states.

I slip my bag strap on my shoulder and walk out. 

Near the entrance, I see senpai slumming on the floor with a blank, vacant stare in his charcoal eyes. I see someone next to him hugging his shoulders. I assume that's his best friend, Tanaka-kun.

My lips curl into a small smile.

Tanaka-kun seems like the sweet type. I feel a sense of relief that senpai's not hanging out with the wrong crowd. I like sweet types like Suzuki-chan and him.

Suddenly, another girl comes up to senpai with her arms crossed.

She has a blonde, pixie haircut and a mustard-yellow sweater tied over her uniform skirt.

I glare at her as I walk out of the school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for kudos! Wow, this was a long chapter. I rewrote most of it for this version of the story to see more of the other students’ perspectives. Let me know what you guys think via kudos or comments, and if it comes across as insensitive I’ll rewrite it. Your mental health is important. Love you guys! 
> 
> -lilsceneshoppe


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